DIY and 2014 Goals

I made this Goal Board simply by sticking a sheet of black card stock in front of the glass of a frame I got for Christmas from my grandma and writing on it with a silver paint pen.

I've slowly started filling it up with goals I want to achieve for 2014 - some simple, some not-so-simple. I like the word "goals" better than "New Year Resolution" because goals sound not only more doable, but the latter tends to taper off somewhere near January 20th.

Goals are reasonable. Goals are motivating. And keeping them on my wall where I will see them everyday as I get ready in the morning or before I walk out of my house means that I will be constantly reminded of the things I want to accomplish and I will be less likely to waste time.

Here are some of the goals on it so far:

• learn basic coding (HTML/CSS)
• learn other Adobe applications (i.e. Illustrator, Muse, InDesign)
• finish a novel (even just a crappy draft)
• workout more and eat less
• finish my thesis
• stop being a chicken and send some short stories to lit mags or contests
• take a photography course
• find a real job (obviously after I finish the two classes I have this Spring and my thesis this Summer)

What are your goals for 2014?

Thinking About My Friend

I've been thinking a lot about a friend of mine. One of my best friends, actually, who moved away a few years ago and I miss terribly. She reads this blog, occasionally, so she will probably be embarrassed that I talked about her, thus I'm not going to name her. But really, she is one of the best people I know.

I was reading another blog post earlier this morning about being a nice person - being nice to everyone and focusing on whatever aspect of them is good. As the author of this particular blog post was writing about how to be non-judgmental, I was sitting there thinking how hypocritical she was based on some other things I've read by her. Then it occurred to me that by thinking these things about her I was being judgmental and hypocritical, myself. And then I realized how many more times only today I've been judgmental, thanks in no small part, to Facebook. Don't worry, I'm not going off on a rant about Facebook, but I do find it interesting how it tends to bring out the worst in me.

So, anyway, I was reading this post and thinking that the only person I know that models this non-judgmental, non-hypocritical temperament is my friend who, since moving away, now has less of a direct influence on me since we only see each other a few times a year and most of that time is spent catching up.

I think I was legitimately a better person before she moved away because she has a way of loving everybody that just rubs off on you. She doesn't gossip, she doesn't fault other people of their mistakes (or if she does, she keeps it to herself), and most of all, she doesn't force or suggest her opinion of someone to cloud another persons mind. She's perfectly happy to make up her mind about someone and let others make up their own minds.

If you asked her, she would say all of this is an overestimation, because she also humble.

I have a lot to learn from my friend. I consider myself a good person, but when I think about how often I judge people and how tightly I hold on to grudges I realize that I could use a lot more grace in my life. I wish it came naturally to me, but it's obviously something I need to work on.

Add it to the list.

Movies to Watch For (Round 2)

So, I still haven't seen all of the movies from Round 1. Particulary, "Upside Down," - which hasn't made its way to theaters wide yet - "Apart," and "The Five Year Engagement" - which is now set to record from HBO and I will watch hopefully in the near future.

Here's some new ones that look kind of rad.

1. "Knights of Badassdom" - Okay, so actually this movie looks disgusting. But I will see it for two main reasons: the great Steve Zahn and Jimmi Simpson (it's Mary from "Psych"!). I'm also pretty sure I can persuade my geeky guy friends to see it with my by uttering the magic words, "Summer Glau," as she seems to be at the top of every geek-guy's list. Some back up reasons to see this movie include, but are not limited to, the hot brother from True Blood, Peter Dinklage (he's an angry elf), Abed from "Community," and, of course, LARP.


2. "The Kitchen" - I'll admit it. I have a bit of a lady boner for Bryan Greenberg. And he and Laura Prepon already have some excellent chemistry pre-established from their roles on the sadly short-lived "October Road," so I'm looking forward to this one.


3. "Into the White" - RON I'LL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE! (Except maybe not in the snow. You understand).


4. "The End of Love" - Looks like I might need a box of Kleenex in the theater with me.


5. "Small Apartments" - It's so colorful. And I mean that in the literal snese. Also, Billy Crystal, James Marsden and Rebel Wilson. I've said it before: Rebel Wilson is my spirit animal.

Self Portrait

One of my goals for 2013 is to learn photography properly. I took a class back in high school using a manual film camera, but though I've had my Nikon D70 for about 4 years, I've barely used M mode. For shame. I know.

Another goal is to learn cool tricks with Photoshop beyond the basic layer masks I use for work.

I'm going to periodically be posting photography samples throughout the year to see my progress. Here's a self-portrait I took today after reading about how bubbles freeze below 32 °F. I decided to experiment and, sadly, my bubbles did not freeze, but I did get some cool pictures, including one with my reflection in it.

What do you think?

Case of the Mondays

My Monday has started out extremely well. Not. So I'm going to share a little craziness with you. Hopefully, you'll be entertained. If not, well, I apologize.

Let me start by explaining what I do. I work for a university web department. A large part of my job consists of conducting training sessions to university department representatives on how to manage their own department's site using the content-management system the university has subscribed to. However, another part of my job includes converting and transferring departmental sites from the old system we used to the new one. When this happens, it generally takes me about a month (sometimes more, depending on the size of the site and state of disorder it is in) to transfer all of the content, clean it up, fix links, update images and out-of-date content, and generally make it look clean and nice. When I'm finished, I send a preview of it to the client for them to review and let me know if I need to make any additional changes. If I don't, I take down the old site and publish the new one, at which point the department then takes over the management of that particular site.

What sometimes happens, however, is that I will finish a site and send it off for review, and then it will sit for months, despite my frequent e-mailed reminders to the client, until the content I updated way back when is now out of date and has to be redone. It's pretty awesome. Fortunately, this has only happened with a few clients, and most of them have been pretty cool about owning up to their own inaction.

I have one client, however, who is crazy. If any one person has ever given me the urge to pour hot coffee all over someone's crotch, it's her.

So, instead of making this a long, drawn out vent-a-thon, I'm just going to share with you some key quotes from my e-mailed interactions with this woman. I already made a contact history log for my boss, so I'm just going to share the highlights. I have thus far had the good fortune of never having to meet her in person. And I fear that, should the occasion arise, I might actually punch her in the face (or, you know, at least kill her printer with a baseball bat).

Timeline 

April 19 – Finish conversion of site (which began on March 29) and send to client for approval; She responds saying she will pass it on to other associates in department for input and get back to me.

May 14 – Still have not heard back from client. Send another e-mail, reminding her that I am awaiting her review. She replies same day saying “Actually, I just got the edits back late last week, so I haven't had a chance to begin working on them. Let me send you the email I sent to [associate]. Let me know if you are confused.” Then she proceeds to forward me an email thread between her and aforementioned associate in which the associate praises her on the work she did on the site (to which she never corrects her) and requests a few more changes. Because my client has indicated to her associate that she will make the requested changes, since she has been given access to manage the site, I disregard the e-mail.

May 24 – Client emails me asking if I’ve made the requested changes. I’m sorry, what? I reply “Are you speaking of the email you forwarded to me on 5/14 addressed to [associate]? I read through that email and your comments, but was under the impression that those were edits you were going to make after the site goes live. Therefore, I have not made any recent updates to the site. If I misunderstood and you would like me to make those edits, please let me know.” To this email she responds simply with:

 “ :-) “

No joke. That’s some very professional e-mail correspondence, there, lady. Props to you. 

May 30 – I send her another preview with the updates I made; she responds saying she will pass it on to her associates.

June 5 – She requests more changes; I quickly make them then send another request for approval. Site is now at point where it’s been ready to go live and the updates she requests are things she could easily handle herself.

August 6 – Send another reminder about site and request ETA on publishing live. Her response:

“Thanks!” 

October 29 – Send contact history to boss. Boss sends stern email to client’s supervisor. Client’s supervisor gives client swift kick in the pants. 

November 8 – Client request site to go live. I schedule publication for the following Monday. 

November 16 – Client emails me and my boss about links that do not work and content that is not up to date. She says, “[Associate] had changed a few pages in [old system] that apparently Jory didn't realize.” 

I’m sorry, but were you dropped on your head as a child, lady? Of course the information isn’t up to date. I FINISHED the site months ago and it was UP TO YOU to send me updates you wanted me to do. Meanwhile, YOU HAD ACCESS to the site and actually get paid to manage it, whereas my duty to your site ended at the latest back in June, if not even earlier when I finished converting the site the first time. Not only that, but I specifically told you and your [associate] that it would be best to make all new changes in the new system, and if changes must be made in the old system, you must notify me about them if you want them implemented in the new site as well. Contrary to popular belief, I do not just sit at my desk checking your old site daily to see if there are changes. 

Also, back in March, she sent me an e-mail that said only, "It sure can!" I have absolutely no idea what this e-mail was in response to or what it was regarding. It was out of the blue. I imagine it was sent to me by mistake, further indicating that she is completely inept at professional correspondence. Do you not look at who the e-mail is addressed to before you click send?

So, that's my client from Hell. I've had other ridiculous clients - particularly one who is clinically crazy and had a complete and public mental breakdown last year - but they are all still at least pleasant to deal with, even if they do inspire occasional frustration. But this lady, I swear... I don't understand how people like this even obtain employment, let alone stay in their position without getting canned. Oh, and I stumbled across her Twitter and blog, and after a cursory glance at both, I can honestly assess that she is insane.

This is just not a good idea...

To take a break from the incessant political tweets/statuses/posts and to distract me from the fact that it's freaking SNOWING OUT (who asked for that, I wanna know?), I give you the first of hopefully many "This is just not a good idea"s.

Let us commence:

This is not a good idea.

This is not a good idea.

This too is not a good idea.

This is really not a good idea.

Giveaway!

At some point in the hopefully near future, I'm going to be opening up a shop on Storenvy, where I will be selling handmade bottlecap necklaces and keychains. I made a promise on Twitter that when I reached 226 followers, I would host a giveaway. Now I shall make good on that promise.

The bottle caps up for grabs are these:

Row 1: Big Ben, Always Doe, California Map, Marauder's Map, Yellow NES Controller, Sherlock Holmes's Hound of the Baskervilles, Giraffe
Row 2: Peeta's Real or Not Real, Hulk, Birds, Gryffindor, Rosie the Riveter, Jane Austen
Row 3: Tolkien's Hobbit, Twain's Huckleberry Finn, France Map, Ceci N'est Pas Une Pipe, Deathly Hallows, Blue NES Controller
Row 4: Peeta's Nightmare, The Boy Who Lived, Thor, Ship Wheel, Ship
Row 5: Archer, Streetlights, Mockingjay Pin, Books, White NES Controller, Bird, Bikini

To see each bottle cap, check out the images on Flickr (note: I'm not a very good product photographer yet).

To enter, use the Rafflecopter options below (also, make sure you put your email address in your comment if you don't use Twitter or have contact info on your blog):
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Post-Dawson's Creek Netflix-Enabled Suicide Reflection

So, I'm not actually sure when this all began, but I think it was two weeks ago. I randomly decided to watch Dawson's Creek on Netflix. I honestly can't say what put this idea into my head. All I remember is that I was housesitting, watching the League on a borrowed Netflix account, and all of a sudden I was wrapped up in the first season of probably the most famous teen melodramas in history (after The Wonder Years?). I remember catching an episode here and there when I was in high school (from the college seasons) but I was 11 when the show started and there was no easy way to catch up on the seasons I'd missed (ah, the age before streaming), so I just didn't get into it.

So I watched all six seasons in the past two weeks, and since I had to stay home sick this week, I managed to cram the last two seasons in three days. Finally, it's over, and it's my last chance to talk about it. This is good news for the tweeps who got tired of my live-tweet ranting throughout my viewing. (Give me a break, most of my tweet-storms took place in the middle of the night when normal people were sleeping).
Now on to the season recaps, followed by my nominations for best episodes. If you don't want spoilers or just don't give a crap about Dawson's Creek, for goodness' sake, don't continue reading. Here's the breakdown:

• Season Recaps: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Finale
• My opinion of the best episodes
• Meaningless facts and figures I somehow felt important enough to add

Season One

from the start

Jen moves into town and Joey gets all jealous that the attention she hogged for the past 15 years is now shifting to the girly blonde. Joey's kind of annoying in this season, but she's 15 so what can you expect? Dawson is, however, the biggest and most oblivious imbecile imaginable. And, of course, Pacey is a messed up kid with a good heart he just wants to share with someone. And there's that biology project where Pacey forgets to tie up the canoe so he and Joey have to wade through the freezing water back to the car and he peeks at her undressing in the side mirror. (Interjecting with "I told you so" point - Pacey was the first to fall for Joey, not Dawson). But then, using the biggest cliche ever, Dawson finally sees Joey in a new light when she puts makeup for a beauty pageant. Her godawful, unCinderella-like singing somehow entrances him. Like an idiot, she decides to forgo Paris for an angsty summer in Capeside.

Season Two
Now that Joey has finally manipulated Dawson into returning her affections, they play the happy couple until Joey realizes she wants to be her own woman. Well, duh. So she dumps him and starts dating Jack, who almost has sex with her after she sketches him naked, but then he writes a love poem about another guy and reveals he's gay. Jen kind of jumps around, not really staying with one friend for too long until finally becoming Jack's hag at the end. Meanwhile, Dawson becomes the poster child catalyst for the Emo movement. Pacey, on the other hand, embarks on a hate-love relationship with Jack's twin sister Andie, who whips him into shape then has herself committed. Now that Jack has eyes for guys, Joey goes back to Dawson, but then he makes her get her dad arrested for cocaine trafficking and she tells him she'll never forgive him. He leaves for the summer.

(I forgot to mention that the character Abby Morgan, a bitchy girl I haven't mentioned yet, gets drunk, hits her head, and falls into the water to her death. Her bloated body is by far one of the creepiest things I've ever seen on television, and I've watched a ton of CSI and Criminal Minds.)

Season Three
Dawson comes back and tries to play the part of the bad boy, embarking on a shaky fling with a girl he meets on the bus, who later turns out to be Jen's long lost half-sister. Joey throws herself at Dawson and he tells her to get lost, then stupidly asks Pacey to look after her. I must say, Dawson, asking someone that far superior than you to babysit your wannabe girlfriend is just asking for trouble. Especially now that Pacey's single because Andie got a little slutty with another crazy during her mental institution vaca. It's only a matter of time before Joey wises up to the amazingness that is Pacey Witter, but not until witnessing him failing to engage in a FWB relationship with Jen, thus beginning the never-ending love triangle (sometimes square) from hell. (That was a very long run-on, for which I do not apologize.) Oh, and after she breaks the news to Dawson that she chooses his best friend over him, she jumps on Pacey's boat and they sail away for the summer. Because that is a completely realistic thing for two sixteen year-olds to do.

Season Four
Joey and Pacey return to the harbor from their summer of debauchery on the open waters (they read to each other from separate hammocks - bow chicka wow wow). Pacey and Dawson are now mortal enemies, and Joey is now forever to play the role of woman-in-the-middle. Jack and Jen have personality transplants and become star football player and cheerleader, respectively. Jen dates a freshman. Jack starts to try to date guys. Andie decides to leave school early and move to Italy. Surprisingly, I start to like Dawson as a character. It only took him four seasons. I've also started to like Jen, hot-mess that she is. The gang gets ready for college, except Pacey who barely graduates. His insecurities cause him to break up with Joey (because a good relationship obviously can't just work out on a teen melodrama). Dawson leaves for LA. Pacey jumps on another sailboat. Joey, Jack, Jen, and Grams ship up to Boston. Sadly, they didn't add this gem of a song into the soundtrack because they suck.

Season Five
starts off with more ridiculous drama between Dawson and Joey. The writers have apparently forgotten that she just broke up with PACEY, who not only took her virginity but shared with her the longest-lasting relationship she's ever had. She's obviously forgotten Pacey as well, because she's back to fighting herself over her feelings for Dawson. So Dawson drops out of USC film school for her, then his dad dies and he blames her for it. Dawson then dates Jen again, and Joey starts sleeping around, because what else are you supposed to do in college? Pacey is conveniently now in Boston, living on a yacht and excelling at chefdom at the swanky restaurant Joey and her gang just happen to frequent. Pacey and Joey "miraculously" slide back into the friend zone and she apparently has no problem whatsoever with him dating her roommate. This makes absolutely no sense, writers. You guys are chumps. Meanwhile, Jack and Jen are on the outs because Jack decided to join a fraternity and become an unmotivated douchebag until he gets himself kicked out/quits for a combination of grades+being gay+misc. douchebaggery.

Season Six
Pacey and Joey's roommate Audrey return from a summer in LA. Pacey has a hideous goatee and a promising new career as a day-trader. A likely story. Joey and Dawson finally get naked together, then she finds out he has a girlfriend (an actress, no less). Joey starts dating a slacker bartender, then he ditches her, then she takes him back, then he ditches her again. Pacey tools around with his day-trader boss, getting him in the doghouse with Audrey. They break up, then Audrey becomes a psycho-alcoholic and has to go to rehab. Pacey and Joey briefly hook back up and things look like they're going to start working out again, and then she dumps him for another short-lived romance with the prodigal slacker bartender. Jen starts dating a guy with even more issues than her (played by the ever-sexy Jensen Ackles from Supernatural). Jack has a nice normal relationship with David, until David becomes insecure about Jack's friendly demeanor toward every other human (particularly those with Y chromosomes). Dawson stupidly invests all his money with Pacey, who stupidly accepts his business then loses everything. Now they hate each other again. Then Joey decides she's not going to be in the middle anymore. Empty words. She then helps Dawson make his movie, and prompts Pacey to get off his ass and help. Pacey finds some investors for the movie and he and Dawson become civil again.

Two-part Series Finale:
By far the worst series finale I've ever seen. It's five years later and Joey is living in New York with Jeremy Sisto, who is apparently about to propose. Dawson is a TV producer (for a show that is pretty much the third re-living of tragic love triangle - Give it a rest man!) is back in Capeside to attend his mother's wedding. Pacey has reopened the Icehouse, the restaurant that used to be owned by Joey's family but burnt down in season two. Jack and Jen also reside back in Capeside. Jack is a high school English teacher and is dating Pacey's closeted older brother, Deputy Doug (now Sheriff). Jen is a single mother with an incurable heart condition that no one knows about. On her death bed, Jen asks Joey to make a choice, and Joey admits she's known all along who she's meant to be with. Jen dies. Jack adopts her baby and Sheriff Doug decides he's ready to take on being openly gay and co-parenting all at once. Joey rightly chooses Pacey over Dawson, claiming that Dawson is her soul-mate but their love is wrapped in their childhood innocence; Pacey is her true love. Dawson goes back to LA and finally gets a meeting with Steven Spielberg.

Best Episodes: (*even bester, personal favorites)

1. 1.10 "Double Date" - Jen and Dawson share an awkward double date with their "significant others." Meanwhile, Joey and Pacey start getting to know each other while working together on a biology project. Pacey obviously starts having feelings for Joey, but Dawson later makes him feel extremely guilty about it, even though Dawson doesn't want her.
2. 3.12 "A Weekend in the Country" - Pacey selflessly helps the Potter family generate business to their newly opened bed and breakfast. Friends and family come together on one of the coldest nights of the year to help make a good impression for a visiting travel critic.
3. 4.03 "Two Gentlemen of Capeside"  - While Dawson and Joey are pushed together for a school project, Pacey and Jen get stuck at sea during a hurricane and Dawson is forced to let go of his anger long enough to save his once-best friend.
4. *4.08 "The Unusual Suspects" - a "who-done-it" involving an epic senior prank. This episode, along with Supernatural's "Usual Suspects" episode, are based on the movie with the same name. I once fell asleep watching this movie, but now I think I need to try again because I loved both episodes so much. 
5. *4.14 "A Winter's Tale" - On a senior ski-trip, Joey and Pacey finally take their relationship to the next level. I'm composing a list of the sexiest scenes from TV/movies, and this one will be on there.
6. *5.04 "The Long Goodbye" - Everyone heads back to Capeside to attend Mitch's funeral. Each person has their own special memory in which Mitch cameos. Definitely keep a box kleenex next to you.
7. 5.15 "Downtown Crossing" - Joey has a strange and sad encounter with a mugger who gets hit by a car after stealing her money and coat. She ends up staying with him in the hospital, each helping the other find some closure and hope, before the mugger dies.
8. 6.06 "Living Dead Girl" - During the cast and crew's Halloween bash, Dawson starts seeing the ghost of an actress who died years earlier on the same soundstage. Joey has to babysit her professor's 15 year daughter. Meanwhile the rest of the gang attend a wild party where relationship tensions rise.
9. 6.14 "Clean and Sober" - Jack and Pacey throw a party for their new wide-screen TV. Joey get's hilariously drunk and starts sharing everyone's dirty little secrets, then, to top it all off, they all play game of Spin-the-Bottle. Pacey realizes he's not really over Joey.



Pacey with a vagina on his face.

10. *6.15 "Castaways" - Pacey and Joey get locked in a K-Mart after it closes and are forced to confront their shaky relationship. Joey also finally convinces Pacey to shave the vagina off his face. Hallelujah!

Meaningless facts and figures (and comments):

• Pacey is consistently the most admirable character on the show (until possibly season 6, when he became a tool, but still had a heart). Some examples: he saves Ms. Jacobs from getting fired over their affair; he helps Andie deal with her mother; he helps Andie deal with her own mental illness; he stands up for Jack and fights for what's right against Mr. Peterson, even if it means getting kicked out of school; he helps Joey with the bed and breakfast and campaign to save Mr. Green's job even though Joey is oblivious to his feelings and unappreciative of his help; he patiently waits for Joey to be ready for sex and doesn't succumb to the seductions of other women; he stands up against the new manager at the restaurant when she fires a single mom and he gives all the gourmet food to the needy; even after Dawson writes him off, he continues to help and support him.
• Everyone had at least one fling or relationship with either a teacher or someone significantly older.
• Pacey (2) - relationship with Ms. Jacobs; fling with new restaurant manager, Alex
• Jen (1) - fling with Vincent, the seafarer/fisherman/whatever he was
• Joey (1) - fling with Professor Wilder
• Dawson (1) - fling with Amy Lloyd, the film critic
• Jack (2) - almost fling with Professor Freeman; relationship with Doug Witter
• Pacey was technically the first to become interested romantically in Joey
• A large part of what made Pacey a tool in season 6 was the nasty vagina on his face.
• The shows attempts to be meta were often cheesy and hilarious (i.e. when Joey makes fun of teen melodramas or when Eve claims to be obsessed with watching Felicity).
• Dawson adapts his experiences three times into film (the high school film, "Creek Days"; the film he makes in season 6 called "The Untitled Dawson Leery Script"; and theTV show "The Creek").
• Not to mention Joey's creative writing projects
• In the last episode before the finale, Audrey in costume looks exactly like Ms. Jacobs
• I think a lot of drama could have been avoided if they'd just had cell phones in high school, geez

The Time I Decided to Make My Own Planner

So, I decided that the planners I buy in stores just don't really suit my needs. For one, I never use the day schedules, so it's just a waste of paper. Secondly, I like to write To-Do lists every week and cross stuff off when I get it done. Thus, I decided to create my own planner with the month, followed by blank pages for To-Do lists.

The trouble started when I decided I wanted to make it in a ring-binder so I could replace the inserts and use it over again. Why such trouble? Well, finding the right size binder (or a small binder in general) proved to be a hefty task, at least in searching for an affordable one that I wouldn't feel guilty about destroying (always a possibility when I try to get crafty).

Anyway, I started by tracing the calendar portion from my existing planner, then copying it to card stock.


Next, I cut the pages down to the "right size" (I had to redo this.)


Here's the "right size."


I spent an entire day looking for a 1/8" hole puncher, and of course every store was out. Apparently everyone and their mother needed an 1/8" hold punch on this particular day. I bought a random hole punch and it was EXACTLY the same size as the rings, which means that the paper is a little tight in the binder. Then, I covered the binder with this awesome scrapbook paper I bought at the craft store. I attached it on the spine and covers using double-sided tape. (Best. Invention. Ever.)

Here's the finished product. (Outside view)


(Inside view).


So there you have it. Now you know how to make your own planner. You also know that I have a Gyno appointment on the 31st, which I'm sure is information you couldn't do without.

I have to say, though, the best part of my planner is that now I get to try on these sweet mustaches everyday.

(Disclaimer: I'm neither related to Hitler nor Charlie Chaplin, so don't even ask.)
 

Archery is Sexy

Archery has been really hot in shows and movies lately, and this makes me super happy. So, to prove to you all that archery is sexy sexy, I have compiled a list of awesomes that rock the sport.

1.The Huntsman.  Jamie Dornan plays the Huntsman - you know, the one that's supposed to kill Snow White? - on ABC's hit Once Upon a Time. He handles all weapons quite adeptly, but he's particularly rad with the bow and arrow. But I might be just a little biased. Also, his yummy Irish accent doesn't hurt. (Gotta love an Irish bloke).

2. Legolas.  To this day, it is Orlando Bloom's greatest role. I mean, I loved Pirates and I really loved Elizabethtowm - sup, Cameron Crowe? - but we all first fell in love with the elfish blonde with the wicked aim.

3. Hawkeye. Okay, so I'm only a novice Marvel lover. I've read Spider-man and loved all the recent Marvel movies (especially X-Men). But other than that, I'm pretty unknowledgeable. So, I didn't even know who Hawkeye was until the end of the Thor movie. And I know I've seen Jeremy Renner in other movies, but I can't really place him. Either way, when I realized that the Avengers included a kick-ass archer with the coolest arrows I've ever seen...well, you could say I was pretty excited. And he didn't disappoint.

4. Robin Hood.  There've been numerous Robins...but we all know Cary Elwes was the greatest. Just look at that mustache. A man in tights TIGHTS tights

5. Katniss.  When I read the Hunger Games, I thought it was so cool that its heroine was not only a crack shot archer, but shooting with handmade bows and arrows. I'd really like to make my own now. I've never shot barebow, so I was a little confused by the appearance of Jennifer Lawrence's form before I realized the difference. Apparently she trained pretty hard and became quite a good archer. Of course, posters and scenes from the film aren't going to represent her skills too well because they movie makers are more concerned with her just appearing bad ass.

6. Me.  I shot for about two years in college and it was awesome. If you haven't tried it, it's one of the most therapeutic activities. You can relieve so much stress, just make sure you turn your elbow out because if that string hits it at that high speed you'll be sure to regret it. Also, it can be cathartic if you're pissed off at someone because you can just imagine their face in the bullseye (or just tape a picture in there). Anyway, I had to leave archery behind when I left Cali. I miss my bow. I wish I had a huge backyard to set up a target on.

Get To Know Me

A few things that I love

(I should be writing that paper right now. Oh well.)

Diet Coke. My life force.	Writing. Especially in awesome notebooks from Granada.
My Macbook. His name is Cooper.	My brilliant niece. She, coincidentally, loves Jelly Beans.
Photography.	Beer.
My Fossil necklace. I'm a Fossil snob.	My Fossil purse, wallet, and  wristlet (not pictured).
Sweets. Of the homemade variety.	Starbucks. And, consequently, the Rewards program.
Clouds. Especially before/after a storm.	Reading. Good books.
Pez. The key to my heart.	Rain.
My evening commute.	Road trips.
Motorcycles. Helmets are sexy.

Because it's Wednesday

Wednesday is seriously my longest day. And today is possibly the worst, because the semester is wrapping up and I have about 6 huge things due in the span of the next 6 days. But you know what makes Wednesdays a little better? Flight of the Conchords, that's what.

Key quotes:
"Then you sort out the recycling
That isn't part of the foreplay process but it's still very important"

"Tripping sensuously over my pants" (in this version we get the "sexy dance")

"You know when I'm down to my socks it's time for business
that's why they're called business socks, ooh"



If you want a dramatized version, just be aware there might be some nudity: http://youtu.be/AqZcYPEszN8

Boredom

I have it. With my blog design. I know what you're thinking. I change it every few months. What can I say? I have eclectic taste (read none) and change my mind frequently. So here's the question. Do I piddle away time trying to design a new layout? Or do I just keep working on my Wix so I don't have to use Blogger anymore? Suggestions appreciated (as long as you don't say WordPress, because I tried it and couldn't figure it out.)

Walgreens FAIL

I forgot to include this yesterday. When I went to Walgreens to pick up a card for my niece, it was slim pickings. This was one of the few options. No joke.

Nice.

Happy Erg Valentine's Day

Like I said yesterday, I'm not the biggest fan of Valentine's Day. It could possibly have something to do with the fact that my last serious relationship pretty much ended on V-Day. But to be honest, I never cared much for the holiday in the first place. I hate pink. And I don't like the idea of going out to a fancy, expensive dinner when the food will probably be rush-cooked and restaurant will be crowded anyway. Just stay in and be comfortable and do the night-out thing another time.

Also, Cupid just creeps me out. I mean, who really wants a fat naked baby shooting them with an arrow? Hello, ouch. And that Cupid baby is just going to grow up to be a pervert and a sociopath anyway. And he will most likely be afflicted with delusions of grandeur, thinking he can just fly around wearing nothing but a pair of wings and a quiver.

Nuh uh, not having it.

What I do always appreciate about V-Day, however, is my dad. My dad is my forever Valentine because he always gets me a ludicrous amount of chocolate. And he's also just a good dad in general. (I swear I'm not sucking up. He doesn't even know I keep a blog and wouldn't read it if he did.)

(that's me, fyi)

So, in honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share a little blurb I wrote a few months ago after a writing prompt told me to. Mainly because I'm vain, and also because I just reread it today and still like it.

She touched the little box in her pocket and smiled. She knew she probably shouldn’t keep it. The right thing to do would be to put it back where she found it, which was in her step-sister’s second to bottom drawer. But she wasn’t interested in doing the right thing. Not this time. So she walked out of the house and turned the corner. Down the street she went, that little box along with her, until she reached her destination. The doors to the post office swung open and she stopped at the back of the line. She reached into her purse and found the slip of paper with the address scribbled on it. Her step-sister’s boyfriend’s address. Not her “local” boyfriend, who wrote her all the notes contained in that little box. No. The address was to her “real” boyfriend, the one she left back in Michigan with a promise to be faithful, who was about to be in for a rude awakening. Happy Valentine’s Day, sister dear. 


Also, here's a V-Day Haiku I wrote a few years ago that won a contest. 
My dear ex-boyfriend,
Thanks for dumping me before
You gave up showers.

 That is all. Have a great ahem holiday.

That Grammar Stuff

Truth.

Another WTF Day

So, I'm kind of a mess today.

1. I got shin splints walking from work to class because I lost track of time. I got from one end of campus to the other in just under 10 minutes.

2. You know that scene in Airplane where the guy is like, "I have a drinking problem," and every time he goes to take a drink he splashes it on his face instead?

Well, I think I have a drinking problem. Only, instead of missing my mouth, I am actually able to take a sip, but then I randomly and involuntarily spit it out. I did this with my coffee in the middle of class. If anyone noticed, nobody said anything. I played it cool. Well, as cool as you can play drooling on yourself, anyway.

3. I purchased said coffee from a vending machine. It was supposed to cost $1.10. I put in $2. The change I received was 35 cents and a watch battery...

4. I tripped myself stepping into my pajama bottoms. They are shorts.

Dear Tea,

I'm sorry I've been spending all my time with coffee. I promise to do better.

Sincerely,
Jo

Tracking

So, since Blogger is paired with Google, it does this thing where it tracks your visitors. Should I be a little creeped out that some of my traffic is coming from an escort services website in Kiev? I'm just saying...

My Niece is a Nose Biter

Except that she's cute, and does NOT in fact remind me of the Penguin from Batman Returns.