Post-Dawson's Creek Netflix-Enabled Suicide Reflection

posted by Jory on Friday, September 28, 2012 0 comments links to me
So, I'm not actually sure when this all began, but I think it was two weeks ago. I randomly decided to watch Dawson's Creek on Netflix. I honestly can't say what put this idea into my head. All I remember is that I was housesitting, watching the League on a borrowed Netflix account, and all of a sudden I was wrapped up in the first season of probably the most famous teen melodramas in history (after The Wonder Years?). I remember catching an episode here and there when I was in high school (from the college seasons) but I was 11 when the show started and there was no easy way to catch up on the seasons I'd missed (ah, the age before streaming), so I just didn't get into it.

So I watched all six seasons in the past two weeks, and since I had to stay home sick this week, I managed to cram the last two seasons in three days. Finally, it's over, and it's my last chance to talk about it. This is good news for the tweeps who got tired of my live-tweet ranting throughout my viewing. (Give me a break, most of my tweet-storms took place in the middle of the night when normal people were sleeping).
Now on to the season recaps, followed by my nominations for best episodes. If you don't want spoilers or just don't give a crap about Dawson's Creek, for goodness' sake, don't continue reading. Here's the breakdown:


Season One
from the start
Jen moves into town and Joey gets all jealous that the attention she hogged for the past 15 years is now shifting to the girly blonde. Joey's kind of annoying in this season, but she's 15 so what can you expect? Dawson is, however, the biggest and most oblivious imbecile imaginable. And, of course, Pacey is a messed up kid with a good heart he just wants to share with someone. And there's that biology project where Pacey forgets to tie up the canoe so he and Joey have to wade through the freezing water back to the car and he peeks at her undressing in the side mirror. (Interjecting with "I told you so" point - Pacey was the first to fall for Joey, not Dawson). But then, using the biggest cliche ever, Dawson finally sees Joey in a new light when she puts makeup for a beauty pageant. Her godawful, unCinderella-like singing somehow entrances him. Like an idiot, she decides to forgo Paris for an angsty summer in Capeside.

Season Two
Now that Joey has finally manipulated Dawson into returning her affections, they play the happy couple until Joey realizes she wants to be her own woman. Well, duh. So she dumps him and starts dating Jack, who almost has sex with her after she sketches him naked, but then he writes a love poem about another guy and reveals he's gay. Jen kind of jumps around, not really staying with one friend for too long until finally becoming Jack's hag at the end. Meanwhile, Dawson becomes the poster child catalyst for the Emo movement. Pacey, on the other hand, embarks on a hate-love relationship with Jack's twin sister Andie, who whips him into shape then has herself committed. Now that Jack has eyes for guys, Joey goes back to Dawson, but then he makes her get her dad arrested for cocaine trafficking and she tells him she'll never forgive him. He leaves for the summer.

(I forgot to mention that the character Abby Morgan, a bitchy girl I haven't mentioned yet, gets drunk, hits her head, and falls into the water to her death. Her bloated body is by far one of the creepiest things I've ever seen on television, and I've watched a ton of CSI and Criminal Minds.)

Season Three
Dawson comes back and tries to play the part of the bad boy, embarking on a shaky fling with a girl he meets on the bus, who later turns out to be Jen's long lost half-sister. Joey throws herself at Dawson and he tells her to get lost, then stupidly asks Pacey to look after her. I must say, Dawson, asking someone that far superior than you to babysit your wannabe girlfriend is just asking for trouble. Especially now that Pacey's single because Andie got a little slutty with another crazy during her mental institution vaca. It's only a matter of time before Joey wises up to the amazingness that is Pacey Witter, but not until witnessing him failing to engage in a FWB relationship with Jen, thus beginning the never-ending love triangle (sometimes square) from hell. (That was a very long run-on, for which I do not apologize.) Oh, and after she breaks the news to Dawson that she chooses his best friend over him, she jumps on Pacey's boat and they sail away for the summer. Because that is a completely realistic thing for two sixteen year-olds to do.

Season Four
Joey and Pacey return to the harbor from their summer of debauchery on the open waters (they read to each other from separate hammocks - bow chicka wow wow). Pacey and Dawson are now mortal enemies, and Joey is now forever to play the role of woman-in-the-middle. Jack and Jen have personality transplants and become star football player and cheerleader, respectively. Jen dates a freshman. Jack starts to try to date guys. Andie decides to leave school early and move to Italy. Surprisingly, I start to like Dawson as a character. It only took him four seasons. I've also started to like Jen, hot-mess that she is. The gang gets ready for college, except Pacey who barely graduates. His insecurities cause him to break up with Joey (because a good relationship obviously can't just work out on a teen melodrama). Dawson leaves for LA. Pacey jumps on another sailboat. Joey, Jack, Jen, and Grams ship up to Boston. Sadly, they didn't add this gem of a song into the soundtrack because they suck.

Season Five
starts off with more ridiculous drama between Dawson and Joey. The writers have apparently forgotten that she just broke up with PACEY, who not only took her virginity but shared with her the longest-lasting relationship she's ever had. She's obviously forgotten Pacey as well, because she's back to fighting herself over her feelings for Dawson. So Dawson drops out of USC film school for her, then his dad dies and he blames her for it. Dawson then dates Jen again, and Joey starts sleeping around, because what else are you supposed to do in college? Pacey is conveniently now in Boston, living on a yacht and excelling at chefdom at the swanky restaurant Joey and her gang just happen to frequent. Pacey and Joey "miraculously" slide back into the friend zone and she apparently has no problem whatsoever with him dating her roommate. This makes absolutely no sense, writers. You guys are chumps. Meanwhile, Jack and Jen are on the outs because Jack decided to join a fraternity and become an unmotivated douchebag until he gets himself kicked out/quits for a combination of grades+being gay+misc. douchebaggery.

Season Six
Pacey and Joey's roommate Audrey return from a summer in LA. Pacey has a hideous goatee and a promising new career as a day-trader. A likely story. Joey and Dawson finally get naked together, then she finds out he has a girlfriend (an actress, no less). Joey starts dating a slacker bartender, then he ditches her, then she takes him back, then he ditches her again. Pacey tools around with his day-trader boss, getting him in the doghouse with Audrey. They break up, then Audrey becomes a psycho-alcoholic and has to go to rehab. Pacey and Joey briefly hook back up and things look like they're going to start working out again, and then she dumps him for another short-lived romance with the prodigal slacker bartender. Jen starts dating a guy with even more issues than her (played by the ever-sexy Jensen Ackles from Supernatural). Jack has a nice normal relationship with David, until David becomes insecure about Jack's friendly demeanor toward every other human (particularly those with Y chromosomes). Dawson stupidly invests all his money with Pacey, who stupidly accepts his business then loses everything. Now they hate each other again. Then Joey decides she's not going to be in the middle anymore. Empty words. She then helps Dawson make his movie, and prompts Pacey to get off his ass and help. Pacey finds some investors for the movie and he and Dawson become civil again.

Two-part Series Finale:
By far the worst series finale I've ever seen. It's five years later and Joey is living in New York with Jeremy Sisto, who is apparently about to propose. Dawson is a TV producer (for a show that is pretty much the third re-living of tragic love triangle - Give it a rest man!) is back in Capeside to attend his mother's wedding. Pacey has reopened the Icehouse, the restaurant that used to be owned by Joey's family but burnt down in season two. Jack and Jen also reside back in Capeside. Jack is a high school English teacher and is dating Pacey's closeted older brother, Deputy Doug (now Sheriff). Jen is a single mother with an incurable heart condition that no one knows about. On her death bed, Jen asks Joey to make a choice, and Joey admits she's known all along who she's meant to be with. Jen dies. Jack adopts her baby and Sheriff Doug decides he's ready to take on being openly gay and co-parenting all at once. Joey rightly chooses Pacey over Dawson, claiming that Dawson is her soul-mate but their love is wrapped in their childhood innocence; Pacey is her true love. Dawson goes back to LA and finally gets a meeting with Steven Spielberg.

Best Episodes: (*even bester, personal favorites)
  1. 1.10 "Double Date" - Jen and Dawson share an awkward double date with their "significant others." Meanwhile, Joey and Pacey start getting to know each other while working together on a biology project. Pacey obviously starts having feelings for Joey, but Dawson later makes him feel extremely guilty about it, even though Dawson doesn't want her.
  2. 3.12 "A Weekend in the Country" - Pacey selflessly helps the Potter family generate business to their newly opened bed and breakfast. Friends and family come together on one of the coldest nights of the year to help make a good impression for a visiting travel critic.
  3. 4.03 "Two Gentlemen of Capeside"  - While Dawson and Joey are pushed together for a school project, Pacey and Jen get stuck at sea during a hurricane and Dawson is forced to let go of his anger long enough to save his once-best friend.
  4. *4.08 "The Unusual Suspects" - a "who-done-it" involving an epic senior prank. This episode, along with Supernatural's "Usual Suspects" episode, are based on the movie with the same name. I once fell asleep watching this movie, but now I think I need to try again because I loved both episodes so much. 
  5. *4.14 "A Winter's Tale" - On a senior ski-trip, Joey and Pacey finally take their relationship to the next level. I'm composing a list of the sexiest scenes from TV/movies, and this one will be on there.
  6. *5.04 "The Long Goodbye" - Everyone heads back to Capeside to attend Mitch's funeral. Each person has their own special memory in which Mitch cameos. Definitely keep a box kleenex next to you.
  7. 5.15 "Downtown Crossing" - Joey has a strange and sad encounter with a mugger who gets hit by a car after stealing her money and coat. She ends up staying with him in the hospital, each helping the other find some closure and hope, before the mugger dies.
  8. 6.06 "Living Dead Girl" - During the cast and crew's Halloween bash, Dawson starts seeing the ghost of an actress who died years earlier on the same soundstage. Joey has to babysit her professor's 15 year daughter. Meanwhile the rest of the gang attend a wild party where relationship tensions rise.
  9. 6.14 "Clean and Sober" - Jack and Pacey throw a party for their new wide-screen TV. Joey get's hilariously drunk and starts sharing everyone's dirty little secrets, then, to top it all off, they all play game of Spin-the-Bottle. Pacey realizes he's not really over Joey.
  10. Pacey with a vagina on his face.
  11. *6.15 "Castaways" - Pacey and Joey get locked in a K-Mart after it closes and are forced to confront their shaky relationship. Joey also finally convinces Pacey to shave the vagina off his face. Hallelujah!
Meaningless facts and figures (and comments):
  • Pacey is consistently the most admirable character on the show (until possibly season 6, when he became a tool, but still had a heart). Some examples: he saves Ms. Jacobs from getting fired over their affair; he helps Andie deal with her mother; he helps Andie deal with her own mental illness; he stands up for Jack and fights for what's right against Mr. Peterson, even if it means getting kicked out of school; he helps Joey with the bed and breakfast and campaign to save Mr. Green's job even though Joey is oblivious to his feelings and unappreciative of his help; he patiently waits for Joey to be ready for sex and doesn't succumb to the seductions of other women; he stands up against the new manager at the restaurant when she fires a single mom and he gives all the gourmet food to the needy; even after Dawson writes him off, he continues to help and support him.
  • Everyone had at least one fling or relationship with either a teacher or someone significantly older.
    • Pacey (2) - relationship with Ms. Jacobs; fling with new restaurant manager, Alex
    • Jen (1) - fling with Vincent, the seafarer/fisherman/whatever he was
    • Joey (1) - fling with Professor Wilder
    • Dawson (1) - fling with Amy Lloyd, the film critic
    • Jack (2) - almost fling with Professor Freeman; relationship with Doug Witter
  • Pacey was technically the first to become interested romantically in Joey
  • A large part of what made Pacey a tool in season 6 was the nasty vagina on his face.
  • The shows attempts to be meta were often cheesy and hilarious (i.e. when Joey makes fun of teen melodramas or when Eve claims to be obsessed with watching Felicity).
    • Dawson adapts his experiences three times into film (the high school film, "Creek Days"; the film he makes in season 6 called "The Untitled Dawson Leery Script"; and theTV show "The Creek").
    • Not to mention Joey's creative writing projects
  • In the last episode before the finale, Audrey in costume looks exactly like Ms. Jacobs
  • I think a lot of drama could have been avoided if they'd just had cell phones in high school, geez
posted by Jory on Sunday, September 16, 2012 0 comments links to me
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