Lesson Burned, Lesson Learned?

posted by Jory on Thursday, November 05, 2009
Have I told you about the large intrusive guy that sits in front of me in one of my classes? No?

Remember the guy in Mean Girls that sits in front of LaLohan? The smelly kid who farts? Well, this guy looks nothing like him. He's not what you would typically assume to be the smelly kid. But due to what I can only assume is some recent digestive issues, he has released gas in class nearly every day for the past month.

Not only is it stinky, but for the first week or so, everyone sitting behind me thought it was me.
That has been cleared up, I assure you.

Now, not only is he smelly, but he's also very large. He's not fat, by any means, but he is tall and broad. And though he is not my type at all, most would label him as attractive. However, with his massive size comes some discomfort on my part.

He stretches and leans backward and invades my personal space. He also often sits sideways in his seat and rests his arm on my desk, taking up about half my desk space. I strongly considered placing adhesive to the top half of my desk (and possibly some thumb tacks facing upwards).

Then, about two weeks ago, I brought a hot tea to class. I set it on my desk, and for a split second I even thought to myself, 'you know, if he leans back it will mean disaster.' I intended to move my tea to the floor where it would be safe, but the prof began speaking and I soon forgot. Not ten minutes later, it happened.

I remember in slow motion seeing him leaning backwards. Then I think I went into shock. The next thing I remember is sitting there staring at my notebook which is slowly soaking up the steamed milk.

(My friend told me I tried to reach for it and had impressively quick reflexes, but I remember none of it.)

Everyone around me started jumping up and grabbing towels and moving the rest of my things out of the way while I sat there staring at the mess. It wasn't until I realized my legs and stomach were scalding that I actually stood up.

The hallway carpets had been cleaned that morning and there were high powered dryers still set out, so someone put my tea stained back pack in front of one of them.

My friend ushered me into the bathroom, where I took off my pants and tried to get them as dry as possible. My legs and my stomach were bright red.

An older lady walked in and saw me in my underwear. She laughed and said, "Oh, you girls!" I wasn't really sure what that meant.

I returned back to my class (with my pants on) and the guy gave me a dollar for another tea.

Anyways, I figured (hoped) that this occurrence would possibly teach him to keep his appendages and the likes in his own personal space.

I was wrong. Luckily, I only have two weeks left of sitting behind him.



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