When will they star in another movie together? Honestly. I should ask them that. They have such perfect chemistry, and they make my heart a'flutter.
I tell you, I have had the worst possible two weeks imaginable. So bad, in fact, that I get anxiety attacks about things from two days ago, and three days ago,...
At this point, it doesn't even have anything to do with stressing over all the things I need to get done. It's just me feeling crappy because of things that are happening to me or going on around me. And I keep scraping for some alone time, some time where I'm not worrying about something or crying over something. I'm not sleeping well, I'm tired all the time. I even tried to schedule myself a spot this weekend where I can sit and do nothing.
Except, I'm not going to do nothing. I'm going to do something. Even if I stay in my pajamas all day, I'll probably be working on my script...or my essay...
I watched Penelope last night. It was a cute movie, but I still couldn't fall asleep. And I had a hard time making myself get up for work this morning.
I got really depressed today, because I'm going to graduate in six months. And I'm going to get a full time job. And that job isn't going to be the job I want, because that just never happens. Not to me, anyway. Not to most poeple.
What I want is to write, all day, and live off of it. I don't even have time to write what I want to write right now because I have homework. So that's at least something to look forward to when I graduate, I'll be able to come home from work and be able to spend my time on my writing.
No homework. I know that sounds stupid. Especially to people who are not in school, because I'm noticing that they just dont remember just how busy you get. And a lot of homework is pointless. Professors just have to have something they can grade you on. Yeah, you learn stuff, but your performance is based on papers and quizes and exams over material you rushed through just for those assigments and you won't remember them two weeks later. Busy work. So it's easy to see why sometimes I would feel like I'm wasting my time memorizing dates and writing papers that try to squeeze every single last possible meaning out of a subject when all I feel I need to get from them is right on the surface (even, right on the cover).
Suffice it to say, I'm overwhelmed and tired and I want a holiday.
So today, after work of course, I spent a few hours with Meg and Tom. And I have to say, my brain did relax a little. But, of course, I have to head to class. I'm actually dreading walking back on to campus. And I LOVE campus. I LOVE my school. But I need a break.
To quote You've Got Mail, "quel nightmare."
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